Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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