You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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