i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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