she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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