Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
