Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
