I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
How naked do you want me to be?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
