I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize