Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
