I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
