i wish my penis had a tongue
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
