Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
All the doctor said was why
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
