Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
