You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
