We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
When are your genitals available?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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