No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
