apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
false alarm, still single
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize