ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
