id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
