Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
