he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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