I've blown a few things in my day
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize