she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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