You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
