I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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