I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
