at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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