you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
