my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
