All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
