How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
