the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
