he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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