This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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