he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
