Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
