my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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