We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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