Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I think I am morally bankrupt
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
