just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
me + whiskey = a bad person
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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