is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
