I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just saw a hot homeless man
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize