I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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