weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
