Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
