I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
