he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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