he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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