Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
