I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
