i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
