let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
