your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
