I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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