Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
