you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
