do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
