DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
cat food counts as protein by the way
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
