we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
