How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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